IT WAS ALL
HAPPENING
19th July 2002
I mean, we
ask you. There it was, on its hands and knees naked as the day it was born,
with camera in hand, at
Bitsy had
decided it was time to litter down and himself heard the first grunts of her
contractions when she delivered the first one. It had put it’s camera in the
box instead of leaving it handy on the shelf, as it usually does when one of us
is about to litter down. It is not at its best at that time of the morning so
was all fingers and thumbs trying to flick open the catches of the box in its
haste to get its shots. The language was
appalling of course but we are well used to this when it frequently throws it’s
rattle out of its pram.
By the time
it took up position the second one was out and third beginning to come. We of
course, all deliberately got in the way to mess up its first shots. We are not stupid bitches, which it called
us, we simply know where its key hole is and thoroughly enjoy winding it up!
Hee, hee!
We gave it a
break in the end and let it get a few shots but managed to mess up the best
ones. You should have heard it, sounded like a top fashion shoot. ‘That’s it,
that’s it!’ At one juncture when poor old Bitsy had one half way down the pipe,
he yelled: ‘Hold it, Hold it!’ The man’s a total airhead and we are delighted
to say that Bitsy immediately speeded up and shot it out like a pee out of a
pod so it didn’t it’s longed for half way out shot!
She settled
for six in the end and we are pleased to inform our fans that mother and baby
are all doing well.
Himself!
Well, it’s has got over it’s attack of the vapours but it’s a mere human being
and a man at that, so it’ll be a few weeks before it gets over all the
excitement.